Please tell me it's a joke. Please!

Santa promotes obesity and drink-driving, claims health expert

Traditional images of Santa Claus set a bad example and could promote obesity and drink-driving, a public health expert has warned.

Dr Nathan Grills from Monash University in Australia said the idea of a fat Father Christmas gorging on brandy and mince pies as he drove his sleigh around the world delivering presents was not the best way to promote a healthy and safe lifestyle among the young. Writing on bmj.com, Dr Grills said: "Santa only needs to affect health by 0.1 per cent to damage millions of lives."

What does that last sentence even mean? Affect health by 0.1%. Complete and utter gibberish. Why the fuck didn't someone at bmj.com throw this back at the the idiot doctor?

But wait a minute.

The piece goes on the suggest that Santa also might encourage drink-driving and sitting on his knee might spread swine-flu.

While Santa is now banned from smoking, images of him enjoying a pipe or cigar can still be found on Christmas cards. Father Christmas could also potentially promote drink-driving, argued Grills, referring to the tradition of leaving Santa Claus a brandy to wish him well on his travels. And in a further blow to one of the central symbols of Christmas, Dr Grills claimed Santa also had the potential to spread harmful diseases. "If Santa sneezes or coughs around 10 times a day, all the children who sit on his lap may end up with swine flu as well as their Christmas present," he said.

Even though the source of this article is Australian, I'm inclined to belive that it is a festive piss-take. I bloody hope so! If not then there are some sad fucks at Monash University with too much time on their hands. You can read the whole article at bmj.com but, unless you are a subscriber, you'll have to fork out £11.50 for that pleasure! Now that IS a piss-take. I can buy a fucking BOOK for that money!

Via An Englishman's Castle