Wave that weenie

The Very Model of a Modern Major Asshole by Jerome Doolittle

We will all be seeing a lot of David Howell Petraeus..., as he carries Bush’s water to Capitol Hill. Good old Dave! General Petraeus and I happen to go way back — to March 18, 2003. On that date, just before our army stepped off a cliff and into Baghdad, the general was doing pushups on a pier in Kuwait.

From the New York Times account:
 
David H. Petraeus, major general, 50 years old, was face down on a pier in the port of Kuwait, forehead to forehead with Jonathan Aleshire, a 19-year-old private …

At the port, what started out as a backslapping exercise by the general shifted after a good-natured jibe from one of the enlisted soldiers. Suddenly, the slight general — he is 5 feet 9, 150 pounds — was challenging the brawny private to a push-up showdown …

The general dipped to the ground, level as a plank of plywood, but for his head, which was cocked up. He stared at the private as they rose and fell, the private perhaps a half-beat behind the general …

At number 24, a little gasp emerged from the private. The general never blinked. Private Aleshire did another push-up, more like a shove-up, arms wobbling. When he rose for his 26th, he buckled. He was through. The general continued for at least another 20. When he stood, only a throbbing vein on his neck showed any evidence of exertion. ‘‘You can write that off on your income taxes as an educational expense,’’ General Petraeus told the private.

I knew immediately upon reading this that the general was an asshole.