Only one kind of dope at Glastonbury

Sp!ked -  Rave with mother

In 2007, grass is out at Glastonbury. This year, one report says, ‘potsmokers will not be able to lounge under trees with their customary mellow insouciance, casually blowing fragrant smoke towards uninterested police officers. For the police are coming equipped with shoulder-mounted cameras that will transmit live footage back to a surveillance unit, forcing officers to take action or risk the wrath of their superiors’...

You can't even take your own loo paper. It has to be 'official' recycled stuff from Nouvelle

According to Superintendent Adrian Coombs, any cannabis users will be given a ‘street warning’, which apparently is not a criminal record ‘but it is noted as an offence against the person’s name’. If, however, you are caught smoking pot twice - two joints at a three-day festival? Never! - then the matter will be treated as a ‘more serious offence’...

According to a report in the Guardian, the police have stationed sniffer dogs at the gates of trains heading towards Glastonbury in order to catch any of these ‘foolish’ revellers who foolishly thought that Glastonbury was a haven of freedom. Think of it as pre-emptive policing to create a peaceful environment so that only nice people can headbang to Bassey.