A little issue of bullying

There's nothing like a good old-fashioned argument with security guards to get your heart pumping on a Sunday morning. Now, I admit, I like a row now and again but I'm not a trouble-maker. I hate bullies and petty officialdom and jobsworths and I have a terrible habit of refusing to let things go unremarked. It's the Irish rebel blood I'm afraid.

So I'm walking along Union Street, the main drag, when I overhear a store security guard harassing a Big Issue seller outside the entrance. I stop and back up, give the seller a couple of quid for a copy and casually ask 'what's going on mate?'. The guy says the security guard is telling him to move away from the store and has been rude and intimidating. Mmmmm. 'Why are you asking him to move?', I ask. 'Because he's outside the shop', says the guard. 'But this is Union Street, Aberdeen's main shopping drag, you can't stand anywhere and NOT be outside a bloody shop', I point out.

'Where does your curtilage extend to', I ask the bemused guard. 'Let me put it another way, are we standing on Primark property or are we, as I suspect, actually standing on a public thoroughfare, i.e. the fucking pavement?' 

'What's it got to do with you. It's none of your business', says the security man.  'Oh, but it IS my business', I say, 'because I've just made it my business, sunshine'.  'More to the point, what bloody business is it of yours what this, licenced, steet-seller does in a public place?', I respond. 'He is not committing an offence of any kind whereas YOU, on the other hand, seem to be coming rather close to doing just that by using threatening behaviour towards him.'  'If you would prefer him to move a few yards further down the street you could always ask him nicely like this...'  I then ask the seller if he would object to offering his wares a few yards away from the main entrance. It's not a problem, he says he would be happy to oblige.

Meanwhile the security 'supervisor' appears and I give him a quick earful before he decides to clear off inside taking the guard with him. 'Come on', he says, 'you're wasting your time with him.' 'Wasting your time?', I shout, 'wasting your time?' , you're a fucking security guard for PRIMARK, for fuck's sake, wasting your time is what you do all day!

The seller, shakes my hand. 'Thank you', he says in a heavy (Spanish?) accent. 'Don't let the bastards harass you', I say.

Have a  nice day!