No internet connection at Aberdeen nick

There's not much to do when you're banged up in a small cell with nothing but a plastic-coated mattress.

It's been a few years since I last had the pleasure of the old bill's hospitality and it's at least as shitty now as it was then. The only thing to do is kip, although for many people sleeping is the last thing they can manage under those circumstances. The secret is to take a sock off and use it as an eyeshade to block out the constant bright light. No pillows and they take away any coats you have so you need to get as comfortable as you can lying flat on your back.

I'm too tired to explain it all now. Suffice to say Mr P, wily old timer that he is, walked free without a stain on his character (apart from the ones that were already there, of course).
Me, threaten five scumbag drunks outside my house, with a gun? The very thought!