Those bloody Poles, erm, I mean Polls

Speculation is rife that the latest opinion polls either show the Tories ahead or at the least dramatically closing the gap on Labour. Surprise? Not really. If Crufts had held a televised AGM in Blackpool over the last few days the opinion polls would now be calling for a Cocker Spaniel to lead the nation. Given the rather obvious fact that from any random group polled on their voting intentions about 60% of them won't actually bother to vote in an election anyway quite why these polls are considered significant is beyond me.

Will the poll results make an election more or less likely? asks Jon Snow.  Jeez, did anyone seriously think the Tories would have a disastrous conference? I suppose it was a possibility but really, does it make sense to think about announcing an election a few days after a conference which could have been predicted to provide the Tories with a 'bounce'?

If Brown is stupid enough to announce a snap election he deserves everything he gets. But, somehow, I just don't think he will.

The Tories are jumping up and down now like emboldened schoolboys who think they can take on the 'gang' and win. And why do they feel like this? Because at the last minute Cameron dumped the New Tory' kaftan he was parading around in and went back to the dressing up box for the old clothes that granny likes to see him in. The little soldier's uniform, the policeman's hat, Grandfather's bowler, Enoch's Homburg...

The Tories have psyched themselves up for a fight and that is exactly why Brown should do absolutely nothing and let them fume away in impotent rage. They'll soon calm down once the Sanatogen wears off.

UPDATE: The Guardian ICM poll shows Labour and Tories neck and neck, both on 38%.  If it dashes any foolish thoughts those around Brown had for a snap election it will turn out to be a good thing. For fuck's sake Gordon just get on with the job you've coveted all these years!