Party on

Father and son beaten after 150 YouTube thugs gatecrash birthday party

Why do parents let their children have parties in their homes? What is the point? Neighbours complain about the noise. There is the constant anxiety that something awful will happen when you're not looking. Your carpets are probably going to get puked on, or worse. Something is bound to get damaged or stolen. A trip to casualty is a forgone conclusion. And all for what?

The kitchen is usually crammed with people talking and hogging the booze. Morose young women block the stairs or lock themselves in the bathroom to tearfully discuss their relationship problems. Everyone decides at some point that the wrong sort of music is playing. You walk in on people you've never met before groping each other on your bed. And at the end of it all you have to try and get rid of everyone before the sun comes up. No! Fuck off!

If you want your child to have an enjoyable party, hire a pub or a hall or a restaurant for the evening. Oh, and don't let anyone come back for a 'nightcap' either.