Let's just drop Ms.Smith into Iraq by parachute (mmm, forget the parachute bit)

Iraqi asylum seekers

Health and Safety Elephants - Chicken Yoghurt
Iraq is so safe, that earlier this week, as Philip says, Defence Secretary Des Browne had to be smuggled into Basra in a ’surprise’ visit. Surely he should have announced his attention in the tabloids with a ‘Hey! I’m off to the new safe Iraq! Who’s with me?’

Also, see this earlier post by Justin


Facebook and the war on terror

Daniel Light on SXSWi 2008: That Zuckerberg 'interview':
Maybe I imagined it. Because it seemed to me as though, somewhere amid this evasion and awkwardness, Zuckerberg suggested that Facebook had succeeded in opening up a new front in the war on terror. I must have imagined it. It hardly seems to have warranted a mention anywhere in the morass of resulting coverage. As I saw it, he articulated the view that a generation of Lebanese students, using Facebook to follow the progress of friends journeying into the wider Western world, have now put aside some of the prejudices that might have drawn them into a life of Islamic fundamentalism. Terrorism, actually. (I’m pretty sure he used the word ‘terrorism’. It struck me at the time as a slightly awkward word for him to use, he being the CEO of a company in whom the venture capital division of the CIA has a pronounced financial interest.)

His argument seemed to be that Facebook has torn down the walls of censorship constructed by Imams in order to shield their students from the truth about the West. As I understand it the truth about the West – in this context at least – is that we’re an unholy quasi-religious Zionist alliance, united under the banners of greed and self-interest, crusading to take control of the world’s natural resources and spreading gambling, pornography and substance abuse to all four corners of the world in the process.

Looking at some of the most popular Facebook Applications (Mob Wars, Armies, Vampires, Zombies, Friends For Sale!, Texas HoldEm Poker et al) I can’t for the life of me see what Facebook does to debunk this point of view. On the contrary, I could lists dozens of the most popular apps supporting the notion that all we do is trade in cheap thrills and human suffering. Spend enough time looking through them, and even Scrabulous starts to feel a tiny bit Anglocentric.

Man drowns himself. Seemed so buoyant earlier

Did guilt drive star chief constable to his death?

I have no idea what drove Michael Todd, Chief Constable of Greater Manchester, to take his own life (for that is clearly what he did) and, frankly, I don't need to know. But I hope his very public death clearly demonstrates that it is possible to be successful, respected, articulate, competent and be fully functioning in the eyes of everyone around you and yet still become suicidal. Although there was some worry amongst colleagues about his state of mind in the days leading up to his death,  no-one believed that suicide was at all likely.

I've lost count of the number of times I've read that someone seemed 'normal' prior to their death. Or to read that Mrs X went to the Post Office as she had always done and chatted to friends, only to be found hanged in the garage three hours later. Farmer Y had a few beers and left the pub with a cheery wave only to be found in the morning with his brains blown out...and so on.

There have been cases of suicide by airline pilots deliberately crashing their planes (not something that gets much publicity, as you can imagine) even though they appear perfectly rational and normal right up to the moment of impact. The tube train driver, Leslie Newson, almost certainly drove his train into a blind tunnel, deliberately killing himself and forty three passengers, in the Moorgate tube disaster of 1975. He had money on him which he was going to use to buy his daughter a car that afternoon and he showed no obvious signs of being suicidal.

Why do these people carry on with their lives normally in the period leading up to their deaths and even continue to make plans for themselves for a time when they will no longer be around? They make appointments, they buy things that are intended for use after the time of their deaths. They book holidays, accept invitations, in fact they behave exactly as if nothing was going to happen, and indeed if they do not take their lives everything does continue as normal, quite seamlessly with no one being any the wiser. Therein lies the answer.

The reason is that killing yourself isn't easy. In most cases it takes a tremendous effort of will to overcome the natural urge to survive. Until the very moment of the suicidal act nobody really knows if they can go through with it. Many come very close but back away. In the end, no matter how long it has been contemplated, no matter how much planning has gone into it suicide is, in the majority of cases, an impulsive act.

Mike Todd was an intelligent man  with a strong will. He must have known just how difficult it would have been to take that final action which would end his life. He opted for a method which avoided that moment of impulse. He put himself beyond help and then allowed himself to die. As sad as suicide is, if you are going to kill yourself, death by hyporthermia helped on with drugs and alcohol is a painless and un-traumatic way to go.

I get all my best ideas sitting on the loo

Woman sat on boyfriend's toilet for 2 years, police say
Deputies say a woman in western Kansas became stuck on her boyfriend's toilet after sitting on it for two years. Ness County Sheriff Bryan Whipple said it appeared the 35-year-old Ness City woman's skin had grown around the seat. She initially refused emergency medical services but was finally convinced by responders and her boyfriend that she needed to be checked out at a hospital. "We pried the toilet seat off with a pry bar and the seat went with her to the hospital," Whipple said. "The hospital removed it."


Bear with him

McCain Attacks Bears
McCain Speech extract:

I want to be President of the United States because I want to restore trust and confidence in the government, I want to secure our borders, I want to fix Medicare, I want to fix Social Security, I want to eliminate this wasteful and outrageous earmark and pork-barrel spending which has eroded the confidence of our Republican base and the confidence of all Americans in our ability to be careful stewards of your tax dollars.
By the way, my favorite in the last few years was we spent $3 million to study the DNA of bears in Montana. I don’t know if that was a paternity issue or a criminal issue. (laughter)
Actually, the money was spent on seeing if thirty years of conservation efforts costing tens of millions of dollars had been worthwhile. The results of the study, to be published soon, show that, indeed, the conservation efforts have worked even better than originally thought. McCain, it seems, would be happier to see the $3 million fund 14 minutes of his great 100 year war in Iraq.

'Waste not, want not', as my dear old mum would say.


Rogered

It's coming down to brains vs. brawn - Roger Simon
Is Barack Obama a wimp? Forget about whether he is prepared to answer a ringing phone at 3 a.m. Is he prepared to answer the attacks of Hillary Clinton at high noon? Obama is not incapable of defending himself. And, occasionally, he strikes back. But he seems like the guy who brings a Nerf bat to a knife fight...

OK, I am being a little unfair to him. He also says he will exercise better “judgment” than she will when he answers that ringing phone. But his attacks always seem based on reason, while hers seem more like a swift punch to the gut...

And it is instructive that during her victory speech after the Ohio primary last week, Clinton used boxing imagery: “For everyone here in Ohio and across America who’s ever been counted out but refused to be knocked out: ... This one is for you.”...

She sees this race as a fight, not an intellectual exercise...

You could almost hear the intake of breath in the press room as Obama finally delivered a punch...

True, the audience booed her and applauded him, but, as I wrote at the time, I was left wondering whether Obama had an instinct for the jugular...

In other words, who is tough enough to beat John McCain? And the one thing to keep in mind about McCain is not that he has a temper but that he is a warrior. He is a tough bird, and he knows how to fight. Does Obama?...

Chickenhawk dirtbags like Simon are always using macho imagery. Knife fights, boxing matches, battles, high noon confrontations, punches, knockout blows, attacks to the jugular and on and on they go, desperately trying to get a little rigidity going on down below.  But isn't it strange how most of them look like they couldn't fight their way out of a paper bag and haven't had a fuck in years?

Man crisis going on here, I think. Pathetic



If I live to 84 I'll make sure I'm armed and dangerous.

Pensioner hurt in house burglary
An 84-year-old woman has been burgled at her house in west Belfast. One man held the pensioner down while his accomplice ransacked the house at Rossnareen Avenue. Both men then escaped with a sum of money. The woman suffered minor bruising and shock during the attack, which took place at about 2130 GMT on Tuesday.
Why shouldn't these cunts be tied to a post and flogged? That's a rhetorical question so please don't bother me.


BritTweets - What are you doing?



The Devil, Guido and Matt Wardman, have recently become Twitterers and Iain Dale has resumed after a long hiatus so, slowly, slowly, we are seeing a few more Brits on the Twitter site.

Still not sure? Don't try and work it out. Dive in and it will make sense to you as you decide how to use it. And if you are a blogger and asking the question, 'why bother using Twitter?' - just think how many people you've heard say that about blogging!

Twitter -- what is it good for? Absolutely Something!

Why You Must Start Using Twitter Right Now

What is Twitter, and is there any reason I should care?

Write the feem toon, sing the feem toon #63

Obsolete: Oliver Kamm: nothing is too vile for me to try to justify.

Septicisle posts an excellent piece on that cretinous midget, Oliver Kamm's, 'rancid apologia for the rendition programme':
...a highly confused, contradictory piece which suggests Kamm himself doesn't really know what he thinks. He loathes torture, yet justifies a practice which has used it and will likely use it again. He is a huge believer in "the war on terror", yet turns a blind eye to the worst excesses of it, going so far as to defend the biggest insult there could be to the liberal values he so espouses, the one sitting on an island which has itself resisted the US for nearly half a century. Some might think this makes Kamm intellectually dishonest; rather, it's just Kamm doing what he's always done, saluting capital and the stars and stripes and ignoring anyone who tells him that everything isn't just fine and dandy.
Kamm, like Cohen, is an insignificant little man who compensates for his micro penis by portraying himself as 'muscular', as in 'muscular liberal'. He reminds me of the pathetic optician, Reinhart Schwimmer, who was a gangster groupie and hung out with the Bugs Moran gang in the 1920s only to find himself rounded up with the real bad guys and killed in the Valentine's Day Massacre. Now if we could only find an empty warehouse, four 'mechanics' and some Thompson machine guns. Ratatatatatataatat!


Dumb question of the day

Iraqis still ask if U.S. invasion was worth it
Five years after U.S. and British forces swept into Iraq and toppled Saddam Hussein, many Iraqis are asking if the violence and upheaval that turned their lives upside down was worth it. The human cost is staggering -- anywhere between 90,000 and 1 million Iraqi civilians killed, according to various estimates; nearly 4,000 U.S. soldiers dead; while 4 million Iraqis are displaced.
This is the bit I love:
On the bright side, Iraqis are rid of one of the 20th century's most ruthless dictators. They held free elections and have a new constitution. (emphasis mine)
Fucking whoopee!