Handbagged

The latest bag to cause a sensation, the Nancy, has been created by Samantha Cameron, wife of the Tory leader, for posh stationery shop Smythson, where she is the creative director. The princely price tag of £950 is the equivalent to an average monthly mortgage repayment, and if you want the matching mirror (£85) or any of the other accessories to go with it (a keyring or a hanging photo frame to go on the handles, anyone?), it'll set you back well over £1,000.

There was a time when I spent a fair amount of my disposable income on suits, shirts, ties and other accessories. But then I reached a stage in life when I no longer needed to go out 'suited and booted' and I happily reverted to slob mode. I've worn a tie on two occasions in the last five years, both funerals. As for fashion...perleeze! I resent paying a penny extra for a named garment, in fact I hate labels full stop. If you want me to advertise your brand - pay me!

I've just ordered a new pair of shoes. I'm replacing the pair I wear 95% of the time and which I've had for about four years. They cost £23 back then. Today I paid £12.50 for a new pair from my catering suppliers, Nesbits. The shoes will withstand a small nuclear explosion. They have a steel toecap, are completely waterproof, acid proof and everything else proof and so non-slip that you can walk through hot oil with no danger of falling over.

A fashion item? No.

Do I give a shit?.....