Wank story: No blanket coverage

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Prisoner found guilty of masturbating in his cell
It is a verdict likely to cause great consternation to lonely prisoners throughout the US penal system. A prisoner in Florida has been found guilty of indecent exposure for masturbating alone in his cell. Terry Lee Alexander, 20, of Lauderdale Lakes, Florida, was sentenced to a further 60 days in jail on top of the 10-year term he is currently serving for armed robbery, the Miami Herald reported yesterday. He was prosecuted after a female sheriff's office deputy witnessed him performing the sex act in his cell in Broward County, Florida, last November.

Get that cat out of here!

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US cat 'predicts patient deaths'
A US cat that is reportedly able to sense when a nursing home's residents are about to die is baffling doctors. Oscar has a habit of curling up next to patients at the home in Providence, Rhode Island, in their final hours.

According to the author of a study in the New England Journal of Medicine, the two-year-old cat has been observed to be correct in 25 cases so far. Staff now alert the families of residents when he sits down next to their ailing loved one.



Permanent marker

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If the U.S. is ultimately leaving Iraq, why is the military building 'permanent' bases?
The supplemental funding bill for the war in Iraq signed by President Bush in early May 2005 provides money for the construction of bases for U.S. forces that are described as "in some very limited cases, permanent facilities."

Several recent press reports have suggested the U.S. is planning up to 14 permanent bases in Iraq— a country that is only twice the size of the state of Idaho.

Why is the U.S. building permanent bases in Iraq?



Via Informed Consent


Sexual Cleansing is not a song by Marvin Gaye

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Direland: New Iraqi Gay Murders Confirmed
A new wave of assassinations of Iraqi gays - part of the organized campaign of "sexual cleansing" of homosexuals that has been one of the saddest byproducts of the Anglo-American invasion and occupation of Iraq - has been confirmed by Iraqi LGBT, the all-volunteer, London-based group of gay Iraqi exiles that has been documenting the grim work of the Islamist anti-gay death squads in Iraq.



Gimme, gimme, gimme!

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There’s No Limit To Internet Speed
She is a latecomer to the information superhighway, but 75-year-old Sigbritt Lothberg is now cruising the Internet with a dizzying speed. Lothberg’s 40 gigabits-per-second fiber-optic connection in Karlstad is believed to be the fastest residential uplink in the world, Karlstad city officials said. “In less than 2 seconds, Lothberg can download a full-length movie on her home computer — many thousand times faster than most residential connection



I love Mathew Parris

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Mathew Parris: Finally, I’ve decided to take the plunge. I’m coming out
Today, a big decision on my sexuality. And in this column the announcement. Something I’ve been wrestling with for months but can see at last that I’m just going to have to come to terms with. So take a deep breath . . . and here goes.

I’m coming out as a post-homosexualist. Forty years (tomorrow) after the 1967 law ending the absolute prohibition of homosexuality, 13 years after the reduction of the age of consent from 21 to 18, six years after the further reduction from 18 to 16, and two years after the arrival of civil partnerships, I have finally become bored with the whole damn thing. Bored, not with being gay, but with talking about it. I blame Tony Blair.

Do cats witter endlessly on about being cats? Do redheads drive us to distraction with their thoughts on being ginger? How many serious comment columns in the editorial pages of newspapers are devoted to the musings of straight men on what it is to be a heterosexual? No, they just get on with it – with being cats, redheads or straights. Such things are for the lifestyle sections of weekend magazines, not rubbing shoulders with the debate on global warming, housing or the terrorist threat.

Fellow-queers: stop moaning...



Whine merchants

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Our biggest drug problem is an ocean of cheap alcohol
Two weeks ago, the Tories' social justice policy group proposed an extra 7p tax on a pint of beer, 20p on a bottle of wine and 70p on spirits. Last week, the new Scottish justice minister attacked Scotland's "bevvy culture" and its associated "carnage and crime". By the weekend, the government's chief medical officer was talking about increasing tax on alcohol and restricting booze companies' sponsorship of sport. Sunday saw a rash of stories about an imminent government attack on knockdown prices at supermarkets. The next day, Brown announced a review of 24-hour drinking. At this rate, a revived temperance movement will soon be taking to the streets.

Last evening my wife and I opened a bottle of wine. In order to have the money to pay the £8 .95 for the wine we had to earn £15 gross. We then had to pay the duty and the VAT. So, out of that £15 Gordon got a total of £9 - 75 in taxes/NI/duty. Now, because some fucking pissheads in Newcastle or Glasgow are causing mayhem on Friday nights in their city centres we have to pay another 20p for our little indulgence. Note that the proposals aren't aimed at increasing the price of CHEAP booze, the alleged culprit, but ALL booze.

Of course the ultimate stupidity of all this is that our masters are so out of touch with reality that they truly believe adding another 70 pence to the cost of an evening's piss-up is going to curb drunkeness.  It's enough to drive you to drink.




Never mind the terrorist doctors...

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Patients pay the ultimate price for NHS errors, says watchdog
Thousands of patients are feared to be dying needlessly every year because of poor communication between hospital staff, faulty equipment and a lack of skills. An analysis of errors has found that some staff failed to make basic checks and that others did not see that their patient’s condition was quickly deteriorating, with fatal results. The National Patient Safety Agency study, which investigated the circumstances in a sample of deaths, also found that there were problems with resuscitating some of the patients.

Latest score:

Terrorist Doctors: 0   NHS: 34,000




Shambolical

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'Sacred' Shambo faces slaughter
Shambo the "sacred" bullock at the centre of a legal battle is due to be taken away for slaughter. Hindu monks at the Skanda Vale temple in Llanpumsaint, west Wales, have been told he will be collected at 0800 BST. On Monday, the multi-faith community lost a High Court bid to save Shambo, who has tested positive for bovine TB. The Welsh Assembly Government appealed for co-operation, but the monks have warned that officials will have to interrupt worship to remove the animal.

Officials will have to interrupt worship to remove the animal.
True. But only because the monks and their supporters have decided to hold an act of worship to coincide with the arrival of officials.

Removal of the bullock will involve desecration of a sacred space.
True. But only because the monks and their supporters will make no effort to remove the animal from its sanctuary in readiness for its collection.

And when Shambo is finally carted off this morning the assembled campaigners could make the most of their meet-up and set off for the nearest abattoire, where some of the 40,000 cattle due to be slaughtered today will start their journey to the dining tables of the nation.