Most borrowed book in Parliament

It offers tips on how to ‘doughnut’ - or surround a speaker in Parliament in order to create the impression on television that the session is well-attended - and how to prevent a political career from derailing a marriage.

Chapter titles include “How to convince voters that the MP never stops working”, “How to dilute boredom”, “How to Climb the Greasy Pole” and “How to write an Abusive Letter”.

 

It says of IPSA, the expenses watchdog loathed by many Members: "It should be humanely put down, buried under a slab of concrete never to rise again from its dishonoured grave. But until that happens, you'll just have to live with it."

A chapter towards the end of the book gives advice on “How to be Ennobled.”

In the foreword Speaker John Bercow “thoroughly recommends” the book.

Source: Daily Telegraph

Some people actually thought this was serious

Some people in the comments actually though this was serious

In a presentation that can only be described as epic, comedian Charles Fleischer delivers a hysterical send-up of a time-honored TED theme: the map. Geometry, numbers, charts and stamp art also factor in (somehow), as he weaves together a unique theory of everything called "Moleeds."
Best known as the voice of Roger Rabbit, Charles Fleischer's multi-decade career includes work on stage and on screen, and an online emporium of unusual observations called MonkeyDog.


Suicide Rates Rise Sharply in U.S.

An extraordinary thing has happened. Now, thanks to severely depressed Americans, neither chance nor intention… neither the gods nor terrorists… pose a bigger threat to them than they pose to themselves.
Preliminary research at Rutgers suggests that the risk for suicide is unlikely to abate for future generations. Changes in marriage, social isolation and family roles mean many of the pressures faced by baby boomers will continue in the next generation, Dr. Phillips said.
“The boomers had great expectations for what their life might look like, but I think perhaps it hasn’t panned out that way,” she said. “All these conditions the boomers are facing, future cohorts are going to be facing many of these conditions as well.”

Chocafrolic

Just like the traditional, much-loved Labrador, except made entirely out of chocolate. This t-shirt celebrates one of mankind's greatest canine chums. Representing a high point for the entire clothing industry; these t-shirts are the perfect union of high-quality, pre-shrunk garments and oversized images of animal’s faces.
Please Note: A big face animal t-shirt is a gift for life, not just for Christmas

choclabtshirt

Jamie and Nigella's meals 'unhealthy' FFS!

Cookery programmes featuring the likes of Jamie Oliver and Nigella Lawson should not be shown before the 9pm watershed because their meals are so unhealthy, say doctors.

 

Bonkers comments from the healthy food Nazis. The 9pm watershed is there to protect children from content which might frighten, disturb or offend them. Watching Nigella won't make children fat. Unless they go off and cook what she's demonstrating. But, as it's hard enough to get a kid to make a cup of tea, it's a safe bet that most children watching food programmes won't be rushing to the kitchen to rustle up a "poached leek and Dorset Blue Vinny Tart, one of the "unhealthy" meals mentioned. 
 

Too many food programmes?

Too many food programmes?

Why do we still allow this?

A nurse has been found guilty of the manslaughter of a four-week-old baby who bled to death after a botched home circumcision.

Goodluck Caubergs died the day after Grace Adeleye carried out the procedure without anaesthetic, using only a pair of scissors, forceps and olive oil, a trial at Manchester Crown Court heard.

The 67-year-old is originally from Nigeria, as are the youngster’s parents, where the circumcision of newborns is a tradition for Christian families, the jury heard.

Adeleye, who is also a midwife, was paid £100 for the operation as Goodluck’s parents were not aware the procedure was available on the NHS.

 

It's the 21st century and we not only permit the genital mutilation of male babies but even provide it on the NHS! (For a fee, admittedly)

Mother's against circumcision

Vodka 'saved' elephants in freeze

Two elephants have been saved from the deadly Siberian cold by drinking vodka, Russian officials say.

They say the animals had to be taken out into the bitter cold after the wooden trailer they were travelling in caught fire in the Novosibirsk region.

The elephants, aged 45 and 48, suffered frostbite to the tips of their ears amid temperatures of -40C (-40F)

But they were warmed up by two cases of vodka mixed with warm water, one official was quoted as saying.

"They started roaring like if they were in the jungle! Perhaps, they were happy," the official told Russia's Ria Novosti news agency.

 

Abuse? It's RAPE!

Two pagans were sentenced to more than a decade in prison today after being found guilty of abusing children in bizarre sex rituals as part of a witches' coven. Peter Petrauske and Jack Kemp were said to have worn ceremonial robes and pagan paraphernalia while they abused young girls in Cornwall during the 1970s. Police believe one of their victims may have been as young as three when the abuse started.
The judge described the victims' experiences as 'nothing less than harrowing' as he condemned their 'utterly horrifying' crimes, sentencing Petrauske to 18 years in prison and Kemp to 14.
In a dramatic twist, witnesses also named murdered pagan Peter Solheim and notorious Cornish paedophile Stan Pirie as among their abusers. Solheim was a 56-year-old parish councillor whose body was found five miles off the Lizard Peninsula in Cornwall by fishermen on June 18 2004. He had been drugged and mutilated by a machete or an axe, and his girlfriend Margaret James was later convicted of conspiring to murder him, though her accomplice was never discovered.

A parish councillor?! At least he got the end he deserved. Too bad the others can't suffer the same fate.

Source

Gorging on anti-corporate baloney

Rather than endless calls for regulations, bans and taxes - whose efficacy is doubtful but whose effect on personal autonomy would be substantial - it would be far better to recognise that any diet with some modicum of balance will be fine for most people, who will live to a greater age than their parents or grandparents, on average, no matter how much disapproved food they consume. Claims that any particular food is some dietary panacea should be treated with a large, metaphorical pinch of salt, whoever makes them, whether they are an evil mega corporation or the bloke behind the counter at the health-food shop.

Above all, a similarly healthy scepticism should be applied to crusading medics who want to scare us with the idea that Big Food is out to kill us and who encourage politicians to regulate what we eat.

 

Some BBQ

The entire governing body of a poorly performing school that blew £6,000 of its budget on a headteacher's leaving party has resigned over 'financial irregularity'.

Parents and politicians condemned the decision to use money from the ailing budget at Sherwood Park Community Primary School in Tunbridge Wells, Kent, on the summer send-off for Keith Marden.

The school had been given a highly critical Ofsted report and placed in special measures just a month before Mr Marden retired in July.

The surprise celebration, held to mark the end of Mr Marden's 25-year tenure as head, took place at the school and is thought to have included a barbecue and a band, as well as, according to one senior councillor, 'quite a lot of drink'.

What's "I need a wee" in Welsh?

Children in reception classes are being told they can’t go to the toilet unless they ask in Welsh, claim angry parents.

Families across Ceredigion - a Welsh-speaking stronghold on the west coast - say children are 'being punished' for using English, even in the playground.

Belly button wonderland of fluffy fauna

If you were told you had an ecosystem living in your belly button, it might come as a bit of shock. Well, you probably do. These are just a few of the samples that Belly Button Biodiversity (BBB), a group of scientists from North Carolina University in Raleigh and the North Carolina Museum of Natural Sciences, have taken from themselves as well as students, science bloggers and others.