David Davis claims 'stunning' byelection victory

Davis wins his safe seat back at a time when the Labour government is reviled and expected to be thrown out of government the moment they go to the country, fighting against a piss-pot collection of no-hoper opponents because both Labour and LibDems decide not to stand and with a turnout of just over a third of the electorate and he calls it:

A Stunning Victory.

Nurse! ...Nurse!